I DON'T WANNA BE A "RACIST"!

Once upon a time I lived in a crowded house in a crowded street. We were all friends in the street and always helped each other and had good times. Then one day, without even asking him, our  landlord told my Dad he was bringing some strangers into our house because it would give him more rent and it would be to our advantage. Gradually our crowded house became even more crowded. Then the landlord of  the house next door did the same, then Landlord of the next house, and then the next, until all the houses in the street were really overcrowded. But knowing that we had nowhere to go and that our ancestors had lived in the same houses for a hundred years, our landlord and the others then put up our rents, until almost all of the wages of the men in the street were taken up in rent. So they eventually had to leave their jobs and rely on benefits like Council tax rebates and housing benefit in  order to live. But even so  our standard of living sharply deteriorated.   Funnily enough, through all of this through, the strangers who had been moved in to our houses didn't seem to pay anything. And when a few of the men in the street started complaining to the Council about this, they were told various stories. One was that our country had exploited these people when we had our Empire, so we now had to welcome them and treat them nice. But then they were told that they were entitled to move into   our street because, although we no longer had an Empire, the countries they came from were now part of the British Commonwealth (whatever that was). But then we noticed that there were morer strangers coming into our street, and some of the men said they came from countries that weren't even in  the Commonwealth, So they got in  touch with our M.P. But he said they didn't have to belong to the Commonwealth because they were fleeing persecution in their own country. But the men in our street said that there was no war in their countries, and that in any case some of  them came from countries where our soldiers were fighting for their freedom or  keeping the peace, so why couldn't these strangers return and help them?.  But the people from the Council and the M.P. told them that they were all a bunch or "racists." What none of us had ever noticed was that whilst all these strangers were coming into our houses and our street  a lot of laws had been passed to stop anyone complaining. So the police were called and warned all the "racists" in our street  - including us kids -that if anyone complained any more they would all be put in prison.    
I really wish things could go back to the way they were before the strangers came. But I don't want to go to jail for being a  racist.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO FREEDOM OF THE PRESS?

Former Liverpool Daily Post journalist and blogger, Ian Skidmore, tells me that the notorious corrupt Herbert Balmer of Cameo Cinema murder infamy, was sponsored by him and colleagues as a member of Liverpool's Press Club.
 He also smugly relates how Balmer used to make up false stories for him and his fellow hacks.  Mr Skidmore relates these tales with obvious humour and delight.
 But it wasn't so funny for George Kelly (wrongly hanged 1950) nor Edward Devlin & Alfred Burns, (also wrongly hanged 1952), whose trials suffered from highly prejudicial stories printed about them - all of which the police officially stated at the time that they had no knowledge of !
 Who was the senior investigating senior officer in both cases? You guessed  it !
 Not sure I like Mr Skidmore's black humour.

They're Gonna Make Big Star Out Of Me

Ringo is old hat with his number - All You Gotta Do Is Act Naturally. and his boast, "They're gonna make a big star out of me."
 I was in the movies before he or the Beatles were even heard of. 
And to prove it here's my illustrious movie career (Its just coincidence they were all made on Merseyside) :-
 Violent Playground - On screen 2 seconds.
These Dangerous Years - On screen 3 seconds.
 But wait!
 My shining hour came when I made the breakthrough to stardom in the 1980 Oscar-winning Chariots of Fire,when I played the dual roles of a member of the 1924 Olympic Games American Athletics Team and a flag-holder of the Spanish Team - On Screen 30 seconds in all!
 Now that's what I call a Superstar!

Pet Hates Continued

Do you remember when you went to the doctors and you were a Patient?
Do you remember when you jumped a bus or caught a train or plane and you were a Passenger?
Do you remember when you went to see a solicitor and you were a Client?
Do you rememebr when you rented a house or flat and you were a Tenant?
Do you remember when you were on the Dole and you were a Claimant?
Do you remember when to the telephone company or Book Club you were a Subscriber?
Do you remember when to the local club or library you were a Member?
  Well forget it!
I don't know whether you've noticed but instead we've all now become "Customers!"
And is it just coincidence that the only commodity Capitalism needs in order to survive and prosper are Customers?!
Whose next, I wonder - Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Son, daughter?

I'm not sure I like this distortion and homogenisation of our various roles in  different life situations.
In fact, in the current world of increasing corporate Globalisation where the Nation State is increasingly being rendered Passe, I find  this reducing of people to mere simplified units or objects rather sinsister.
 What do you think?

More Pet Hates

 Another modern movie spoiled last night by the interminable and totally unnecessary loud background music.
Now don't get me wrong: I used to love the great theme music of westerns such as The Big Country, Giant and High Noon  or the exquisitely melancholic  background theme  in  James Dean's East of Eden.   But, come on!    Never mind this all pervasive blight on almost all of today's movies, you can't even escape it on TV.  I've lost count of how many TV dramas have been ruined by the continual, irritating and totally irrelevant background music.  You can't even hear what the characters are actually saying anymore!
 What, with this and the so-called modern technology of Stero and Dolby Sound, whose deep Bass always makes it sound fuzzy, I've just about given up trying to watch anything anymore.
In fact the only enjoyable movies left are those of the 1940s and 50s, when there was no Sterophonic sound, the sound was crystal clear  and we were allowed to watch and listen to the movie in peace free from all these off-putting distractions.especially the film noir B. Movies, such as Double Indemnity and Now Voyager.
 Come to think of it, I don't think Technicolour did much better for the movies either.
Could I be right about all this?
Or am I  just a resurrected Cave man?

...AND JOGGERS & SHOP STAFF

Have you ever wondered why Joggers always run on main roads?  Is it because they are vain or just stupid?
Vain, because maybe they feel nobody would notice them if they jogged on back roads or in the desolate countryside. And they DO want to be noticed. But then again, maybe they are simply stupid. Because whilst they are racing along and preening themselves like two-legged peacocks, they are also deeply inhaling all the bus, truck and motorcar exhaust fumes! What morons!  
 And have you ever been into  a shop (SuperCigs is the main offender) to join a long queue because only one assistant is serving? The owner cutting costs, you may say. But wait a minute, there are two other "assistants" stacking shelves or having a quiet cuppa in the back, whilst the poor mugs who are actually paying their wages have to suffer a prolonged wait in purgatory.. Now that doesn't even make commercial sense for the owner. But it does show the takling for granted of the customer, nay contempt,  that these mindless workers have for us.
 My tip? Don't queue. Your time is just as precious as theirs. Demand that they leave off stacking until trade slackens off and start serving. And if everyone looks at you as if you have lost your marbles((as the docile British usually do) then just vote with your feet and walk out. It may even help you to stop smoking!

GAY OR MISERABLY INCOMPETENT

My MP is a lesbian. The prisons Minister, Crispin Blunt,  is a homosexual.
Between the two of them, I have been trying to have a simple question answered for the past 10 weeks, and still haven't had an answer.
 Now I don't mind them being Gay but why are they making me so Miserable?
And by the way, if this is the  "Brokeback" Coalition's idea of democracy and  bottom-up (no pun intended) " power to the people", then give me a Dictatorship any day!!

MODERN PECULIARITIES

Have you noticed the latest speech fad is, "To be honest?" This is rapidly replacing, "Blah, blah, blah". And this of course, replaced, "No problem." which replaced "at the minute", which replaced, "The world and his wife."
 Do these people  prefixing a comment with, "To be honest." mean that all they previously  said  was dishonest? Otherwise, why stress that you are being honest?   And whilst we are at it, why couldn't they just say "etc" instead of "Blah, blah..."? And instead of "No problem", couldn't they have simply said, "Of course?"
And will shop assistants please stop telling me, "There you go" instead of a simple "Thank you."
 All of the above idiomatic speech is entirely meaningless lazy, trendy and silly.
 So please, let's get back to saying what we actually mean!.

HUMAN TRAFFICKING

Watching on Channel4 the two programmes on the trafficking of young girls from the Far East for prostitution by a  London -based gang of Chinese, I was amazed at the short sentences the male and female gang leaders of this muilti-million pound racket, received. What struck me with alarm and foreboding was the narrator's casual remark that, one of the ringleaders was in this country "quite legally" despite having an extensive criminal record.  The obvious thought arises, Why wasn't he deported? 
I'll bet HE  always votes Labour!

EXECUTION NOTICE

You may be wondering what is the significance of the policeman's photograph.
 Well he is standing outside the gates of Liverpool's Walton prison in April 1952 "guarding" the official Execution Notices of the Governor and the Surgeon, which certified  that the State had just hanged two young men, side by side,  for a murder they almost certainly did'nt commit,
Watch this space! 

The XFACTOR BAYING CROWD

Despite all the furore about the Xfactor, the way it is all pre-arranged and stagemanged. Don't get rid of the musical freaks who think they are the next superstar. Don't get rid of the insulting and patronising Simon Cowell. Don't get rid of the other bimbo judges, who couldn't themselves sing to keep themselves warm But, please, please, please! get rid of the moronic baying crowd that calls itself an audience. A rehearsed cage full of monkeys would be better behaved!