Well here we go again. This is the latest, from our Fantasy Island Correspondent.
The Island's Government has told the Islanders that it is nearly bankrupt with a deficit of some £140 Billion. All kinds of sacrifices therefore will have to be made, mainly by the unemployed and children. The former are told to get a train to find a job. But the Government puts up train fares by 6% then allows the private trains companies to add another 5%.
That way, it reckons it will be easier for those lazy bastards (mainly on benefits) to travel further afield to get those gold-plated jobs (wherever they are?).
Simultaneously the Government felt that its massive deficit of said £140 Billion would somehow be eased somewhat if it gave Ireland (which was stupid enough to join the Euro and vote Yes to the EU.s Lisbon Treaty) £7Billion to help their deficit.
Never mind that The Islanders don't have7 Quid to spare, much less £7 billion, you must remember, this is Fantasy Island, where 2+2 makes 5. And where Doublethink is the Government's watchword.
That's why it continues to welcome 1,000's of Pakistan and Muslim un-checked immigrants into the Island, while it's alleged arch-enemies, the Taliban and Al Queda -, based on the border between Afghanistan and Pakistan- are killing its soldiers every day in Afghanistan.
Some insane critic recently asked the Government if they would have similarly allowed thousands of Germans and Japanese to enter the country whilst the Island was "at war" with them. A Coalition spokesman immediately dismissed this crazy question by stating. "That's different. Of course not. They were fanatics and Nazis, weren't they?"
The questioner was later visited by a French gendarme from the newly-created Europol Police Force and forthwith sectioned under the Mental Health Act.
He has been given an indeterminate sentence and is now receiving treatment in Broadmoor's Maximum Security Unit.
Bloody good thing too!
Fancy asking a stupid question like that!
And let's not forget today (24th November2010) in London.
ReplyDeletePolice problem:
These students want to protest and march to the headquarters of the Lib Dems, remember what they did 2 weeks ago to the Tory headquarters? The problem we have is that it is the demonstrators legal right to protest and we can't stop them, remember the trouble we got into two years ago with the G20 summit protests?
So what can we do to stop these "terrorist Students"?
I know, says one particularly undemocratic policeman.
The demonstrators will be coming down Whitehall into Parliament Square then straight through to Cowley Street (Lib Dem HQ)
We can't legally stop them if they are not breaking the law, so why don't we park one of our old For Transit vans in the middle of Whitehall, and all piss off for a cup of tea?
The "Terrorist Students" will have to march past the abandoned vehicle and students, being students, will vandalise the van as it will be ungaurded, then, Hey PRESTO, we will have the right to stop the march from progressing into Cowly Street, as the students will have commited a crime.
We will have successfully stopped a democratic demonstration and the protestors will be blamed.
Plus, we will be able to "contain" them in one small spot for hours, just like we did during the G20 protests. This time the press will say we did a good job in containing the violence, so we will be able use the tactic for all future protest marches without having the critism that we got two years ago.
"Bloody fantastic idea constable. we shall have to put your name down for a promotion. Was that Cohen spelt with a "W" or a "H"?"
I am thinking of leaving this Fantasy Island with its cold and wet summers and cold and wet winters. I would like to go to a nice warm country.Because I have not got a skill and I have only done odd labouring jobs,plus a wife and seven kids and another on the way,I am looking for a country that will look after me and my family from the day I arrive and make us very welcome.as I have not got a penny in my pocket,they will need to put us up in a Hotel or guesthouse till they find me a 5 bedroom house.
ReplyDeleteand pay the rent and community tax plus tax credits
for my children, also my eldest boy needs 24hr care which includes motability allowance.although
I have not contributed to any of health services
in any of the country's that would accept me but I know I will not have to pay if I don't get a job,so that will do me fine. I have been looking for a long time but I am having no luck at the moment.I will keep trying till I find one,so I will have to put up with living on Fantasy Island till then.