THE WORLD CUP: A NATIONAL DAY OF MOURNING.

There is to be a National Day of Mourning next week in Fantasy Island following  its humiliation yesterday of only securing 2 FIFA votes out of 22 and thus losing its £15 million bid to host the 2018 World Cup.

The millionaire Prime Minister, the heir to the throne  and the world's most famous millionaire male model (sorry, footballer)  fought back their tears  as did thousands of the religion's (sorry, football's ) disciples throughout the Island.

Because this is the land of naivete and Doublethink, they felt deeply hurt and didn't expect this hammer blow from FIFA.
I mean they had obligingly ignored all the Sunday Times and BBC Television accusations of widespread corruption and bribes made against  five of FIFA's directors, hadn't they. 
They could hardly do anything else though, could they? I mean  if you're on the make that's the sort of thing  you do  in a highly "religious" state isn't it? You know, forget ethics and morality and bury your head in the sand ( Sorry, I mean "Turn the other cheek" and all that).

Best about it though, they were most sporting and didn't seem in the least surprised or aggrieved at the logic of  Russia, the  thoroughly corrupt "Mafia State, being granted the World Cup honour.  Well, why should it? In Fantasy Island it makes perfect sense.
This is after all,  the country that invented the "Dunkirk Spirit."
And why should they feel surprised or aggrieved?
Well, if you don't acknowledge FIFA's corruption- or conveniently bury your head in the sand about it - then it's very hard to complain that there's anything at all wrong when that corrupt World Cup organisation awards the World Cup to one of the World's most  corrupt state's.
  But, like I say, 2 plus 2 always makes five in Good old Fantasy Island!.  
By the way, the Day of Mourning will be next Friday. The service of national grief will be held at Westminster Abbey.

Although the Queen and all the other luminaries will attend, actual football fans have been barred, since it wasn't found practicable to charge them the £100 admission they usually cough up at the match.
 In addition, to maintain the dignity of the occasion Sir Alec Ferguson has been ordered to refrain from chewing gum throughout the ceremony. Another reason is that the Government is trying to reduce the epidemic of passive-chewing, for which they blame him.